The
Power Within, Love as More, Wisdom through Being
I
AM Being that who IS I AM
By Kim Michaels
February 6, 2004
"Accept
nothing that is unreasonable, discard nothing as unreasonable without
proper examination." Gautama Buddha
Lately, several people have
challenged my claim to be a messenger for Jesus. Obviously, some people
have already discarded me without any examination, so there is little
point in reasoning with them. Yet for those who are willing to follow
Gautama's admonishment and subject me to proper examination, this letter
will explain how I came to the point of being willing to work with Jesus
and use the "forbidden" word messenger about myself.
My Psychic abilities
I was born with an ability to read vibrations. Even as a young child,
I was able to sense the vibrations of truth, beauty and spiritual beings.
I was often moved to tears by the beauty of nature, the truth of a statement
or a display of kindness. On the flip side, I was also able to sense
dark energies and dark beings. As a child I was scared of such dark
beings, and even though I realized there were beings of light, I had
not learned how to call to them for protection.
If one takes a letter-of-the-law approach, one might say that the ability
to discern between light and darkness is a psychic ability. One could
then go on to reason that if I have psychic abilities, then I must be
a psychic and therefore also a psychic messenger. The problem with this
approach is that if one wants to be consistent, one must then reject
all unusual abilities, such as the gifts of the Holy Spirit or Christhood.
One then becomes like scientific materialists or the Pharisees and scribes
who rejected Jesus and his display of "psychic" abilities.
There is an old saying about throwing the Christ child out with the
dirty bath water.
My ability to discern between light and darkness has given me the clear
understanding that one cannot label any psychic ability as "bad."
Most people have psychic abilities, and the most common one is intuition.
If you did not have intuition, how could you possibly have seen any
truth in the teachings of the ascended masters? As Jesus said to Peter,
"Flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee."
One of the greatest insights I have received from the teachings is the
understanding that an essential aspect of Christhood is discernment
between what is of God and what is not of God. I therefore realized
that my ability to read vibrations was not wrong or bad. It was one
ingredient of Christhood, and it simply needed to be developed further.
In other words, I believe the teachings confirm the validity of this
ability and the importance of using and developing it. The Masters have
often said that the dark forces are so subtle that the only way to expose
them is to read their vibration.
I have consciously used all of the tools given to us by the masters
to develop the ability to discern between light and darkness, between
what is of the lower psychic/astral realm and what is of the higher
psychic/spiritual realm. To me this ability is the essence of what Gautama
called "proper examination."
As a result of this discernment, I have stayed away from drugs, alcohol,
tobacco, rock music and many other negative things. I have also avoided
all negative psychic phenomena and have not gone to a psychic or even
an astrologer. It was also this ability that allowed me to recognize
the teachings. I first heard about he masters in Denmark. I simultaneously
heard about three sources, Mother and two Danish ladies who each gave
dictations and had written books in Danish. Needless to say, the Danish
sources were more easily accessible. So I gave their material proper
examination but immediately felt the difference in vibration and realized
Mother was the only true messenger among them.
Overcoming your fears
As a child I clearly sensed the vibration of dark forces, and one of
my greatest fears was ghosts and skeletons. At the age of twelve, I
allowed myself to be locked into a dark room with the school's skeleton,
and by confronting my fear, I overcame it. I explain this story in greater
detail on my website, but I mention it here because the experience taught
me that fear will hold you back until you decide to confront it once
and for all.
This relates to Gautama's saying because it is fear that causes you
to reject something without proper examination. You are afraid that
proper examination might cause you to have to change. Ironically, fear
can also cause you to accept that which is unreasonable by making you
afraid to look beyond a certain outer rule, doctrine or mental box.
That is why so many fundamentalist Christians accept unreasonable church
doctrines and reject Mother and the teachings.
After I found the teachings, I realized that I had no need to fear dark
forces. By using my ability to discern their vibration combined with
decrees and a study of the teachings, I had a very efficient defense,
which I have used diligently since 1984. Jesus talked about being wise
as serpents and harmless as doves. I understand that to mean that we
must be aware of the existence of psychic impostors so that we can avoid
being ensnared by them, but we must not be so afraid of them that we
let our fear prevent us from manifesting Christhood.
In other words, the psychic forces can win in two ways. One is by ensnaring
us to work with them, thinking they are the masters. The other is to
make us so afraid of them that we deny our higher psychic or soul abilities.
If we refuse to use our ability to discern - for example by saying that
anyone claiming to commune with the masters is a psychic - then we are
neither wise nor harmless. We have let our fear of psychic forces rule
our lives, meaning that we are letting psychic forces control us through
the fear.
My tendency to confront my fears has helped me overcome many limitations.
For example, I once came to the conclusion that I had fear of the Guru.
I realized it was because I was afraid that the Guru might expose my
ego. So I walked up to Mother at a community event and gave her free
reign to tell me anything about my psychology and my dweller. She wanted
me to set up a meeting with her secretaries, but I never heard back
from them. Instead, I got the inner direction to go into therapy, and
I did so. This also was a way to confront my fears and get to the bottom
of the ego and any pride of not wanting to look at wounds in my psychology.
While my involvement with the teachings and the church helped me overcome
many fears, it also gave me a new fear. Our organizational culture tends
to instill fear of the psychic, of communicating with the masters or
calling yourself a messenger. When I started working with Jesus, I had
to confront that fear. Had I not been willing to do so, I could not
have served as a messenger for Jesus. What helped me confront this fear?
The opposite of fear is love, so the key to overcoming all fear is to
love something more than that which you fear.
Don't limit God in
you
In 1994, I attended
SU Level II. When I heard the summer session would be sponsored by Jesus
and Mighty Victory, I knew I had to go. In my outer mind I still felt
a distance to Jesus but I felt very close to Victory. And Victory truly
got me to the door, but then he left and from then on it was like walking
with Jesus every day. For the two months, I gave a surrender rosary
every day after breakfast. That along with the teachings and decrees
healed my relationship with Jesus. I now felt at peace with Jesus, but
I still did not recognize him as my sponsoring master.
The most important insight that came to me during SU was the crystal-clear
thought that I needed to stop limiting God in myself, meaning that I
had to stop preventing God from working through me. I was profoundly
moved by Jesus' saying that "I of my own self can do nothing; it
is the Father within me who doeth the work." I realized that this
concept was the very essence of Christhood and of the teachings.
Along with this insight came another one, namely that the key to letting
God work through me was to love God above anything else. I realized
that Jesus talked about loving God with all your mind, heart and soul,
and he talked about being willing to lose your life for his sake. I
realized that it is the ego and unresolved psychology that prevent us
from letting God work through us. I decided that the ego simply had
to go because I loved God more than my ego. These ideas continued to
work in my mind for several years until they came to fruition.
My point here is that it is our fears of being who we are - namely sons
and daughters of God - that prevent God from working through us. The
key to overcoming our fears is to love God beyond anything in this world,
thereby loving God more than anything we might fear.
In the beginning, I found it difficult to love God, but then something
clicked, and I realized my problem was that I was trying to love God
with a human love. Human love is always conditional, meaning that it
is self-centered. I realized that God's love is completely different
because it is unconditional. By meditating on the concept of unconditional
love, I gradually became less self-centered and became more God-centered.
I began to feel that life really wasn't about me, or rather my ego and
dweller. Life was about God, and that was exactly what Jesus demonstrated.
Therefore, the key to loving God wasn't to seek to force a human love
for God. The key was to surrender completely to God and allow God's
unconditional love to flow through me. This is the perfect love that
casts out all fear—the fear that springs from the ego's sense
of separation from God.
I need you to become
the Christ
During the summer conference in 1996, Saint Germain told us that he
needed us to become the Christ by 1999. After the dictation, I meditated
on this message and took stock of my path. At the time I was on the
teaching center board in North Glastonbury. I went to most services,
led decrees in Glastonbury and later at the Ranch. I had a job that
allowed me to decree while I was working, so I gave 8 hours of decrees
a day, including the entire Kuan Yin rosary. I had attended every conference
since 1987. In short, from an outer perspective I was doing everything
that a chela was supposed to do.
From an outer perspective it would seem that the best way to manifest
Christhood in three years would be to continue doing exactly what I
was doing. Yet as I sat in the Heart and meditated on Saint Germain's
Presence, I realized in a flash that it wasn't enough. I realized that
Christhood is not an outer thing that you can put on as an overcoat.
It is not the mechanical result of outer actions. It must come from
within, and for that to happen I had to go more deeply within myself
than I had ever done. I realized that even the church and its teachings
can be turned into an outer path that traps you and prevents you from
manifesting Christhood by making you focused on doing outer things.
In 1997, Lorraine and I moved our family to Utah and we had to withdraw
from most outer church activities. I still did a couple of hours of
decrees every day, but I realized that Saint Germain, in a recent dictation,
had told us that the I AM books contained unparalleled teachings on
the I AM Presence. I got an intuitive impulse to study the books and
did so for a couple of years. For the first time I felt I was truly
making contact with my Presence. I realized that compared to your Presence,
everything else, including the masters, is something external. If you
focus too much attention on external factors, you cannot unite with
your Presence.
In 1999, I went to the summer conference and something felt very different.
Several old friends remarked that I seemed different and more at peace.
I realized that by going within, I had indeed made more progress than
I would have done by continuing my previous approach. I also realized
my path would take me beyond the church, although I had no idea where
it would lead. I walked around feeling like I was saying goodbye to
the ranch and everyone there.
Discovering my calling
After that summer conference I had a couple of quiet years, during which
I again went deep in my heart and felt I established a clearer connection
with my I AM Presence. My path then took an unexpected turn.
Since I was a child, I knew I wanted to be a writer. I wrote books and
magazine articles in Denmark and wrote several books in the U.S. During
my whole life, I had worked on my writing skills, and I had especially
worked on writing intuitively. After my SU, I realized that the ultimate
form of writing would be to let my I AM Presence and Christ self write
through me. I had worked on writing this way, but felt that something
was missing. I was still too caught up in the outer mind and would analyze
my writing instead of letting it flow.
At Christmas in 2001, I bought speech recognition software for my computer.
This allows me to close my eyes and speak into a microphone, my words
being converted to text by the software. This gave me the missing ingredient,
and I could now let my writing flow in en entirely new way. I wrote
a book on self-help and also wrote a series of discourses on the church
situation. I always felt that the words would flow from my Christ self
and I AM Presence.
In August 2002, I did a novena to the Great Divine Director. I had done
this before and would have a notebook to write down any ideas that came
to me after the decrees. On the first day, I realized with profound
clarity that my personal master is Jesus. This was surprising to me
at first, but it quickly made sense to me. I then proceeded with the
vigil and received a lot of personal directions from Jesus.
By following these directions, everything I had learned from my time
in the teachings came together, and so many things suddenly clicked.
Within a few weeks, a new world opened up to me, and I came to a point
of total surrender. One evening, I literally felt that I surrendered
all personal or human desires and expectations to God. I remember saying
out loud, "God, you can take me home any time." I truly felt
there was nothing I personally needed or wanted to do on this planet.
Shortly after that I got the instructions from Jesus that he wanted
me to create a website for the general public that would allow people
to ask questions which he would then answer through me. He also wanted
me to call myself his messenger. At first the thought of publicly declaring
myself as a messenger for Jesus was terrifying. I knew there would be
condemnation from Christians and materialists who would accuse me of
being of the devil or insane. And on top of that I knew full well that
there would be an even more intense condemnation from church people.
It was not difficult to see which way the wind was blowing in church
leadership, and I had little doubt they would denounce anyone using
the forbidden word messenger.
Several ideas helped me overcome this fear:
- One was my tendency to
confront my fears. Why was I so afraid of this? I realized I was too
concerned about how I was perceived by others. I realized that to
overcome this fear I simply had to love God more than my reputation.
That wasn't very hard to do.
- I came to the point of
thinking, "Do I really believe the teachings work?" If I
do, then I must reason that it is possible to use the decrees and
other tools to protect ourselves from psychic forces. In other words,
it is possible for a chela to commune with the real ascended masters
and to avoid psychic impostors. It requires diligence and constant
alertness, but it is possible. I decree diligently for the binding
of all psychic forces, and I use the call from page 119 in The Chela
and the Path before I get any material from Jesus.
- I realized that if I denied
the possibility of communing with Jesus, I would be denying the teachings.
This would be denying the masters the fruits of their investment in
the church and in me as a chela.
- I came to the point of
thinking, “Do I really believe what the masters are saying?”
If I do, then I must reason that it is possible for me to become the
Christ, not in the distant future but now. I realized that the only
acceptable time is now. The consequence of being the Christ is that
you can commune with the masters.
- What helped me the most
was the understanding of Christhood that Jesus had given me. He taught
me that there is no way to perfect the ego or make the dweller acceptable
in the eyes of God. The only way to overcome it is total surrender,
thereby allowing the ego to die. The ego simply has to go. This is
the true meaning of Jesus' saying that "He who loses his life
(meaning his mortal sense of identity) for my sake shall find it."
When your ego dies, you find your true identity in Christ.
- Jesus also taught me that
the role of the Christ is to be loyal to the truth he receives from
within in the face of ALL opposition from the forces of this world.
I was reminded of the Buddha sitting under the Bo tree being challenged
by the demons of Mara and Jesus resisting the temptations of the devil
and the people around him.
- I firmly believe that
the goal of a true Guru is to raise up students to be all that the
Guru is and more. You see this with Yogananda who became a Guru in
his own right after Sri Yukteswar. We are meant to fill our role in
hierarchy, and the best way to honor our Guru is to manifest Christhood.
However, to do that we must overcome our idolatry of the Guru, which
causes us to use the Guru as an excuse for not being the Christ. I
believe this is a misuse of and disrespect for the Guru. Because I
love Mother, I would not dishonor her by turning her into an idol.
I realized that I simply couldn't let my fear stand in the way of my
service to God, and if this was what Jesus wanted me to do, I loved
Jesus more than my fears. So I decided that I was willing to be true
to my inner directions, regardless of what the world would throw at
me. I made my peace with being the messenger for Jesus, and I can firmly
say that truth needs no defense. Over the past year, I have been exposed
to a fair amount of ridicule and opposition. I have also seen people
be transformed by the teachings Jesus has brought forth through me,
including some people who were in the church for over 20 years. I can
honestly say that I am even more at peace today than I was a year ago.
Where does that leave
you?
I have used all of the skills and tools available to me to make sure
that I am not being used by a false hierarchy impostor of Jesus. I am
as sure that I work with the real Jesus as I have ever been sure of
anything. Obviously, I don't expect you to take my word for it, and
it truly makes no difference to me whether you accept me as a messenger
for Jesus. I know who and what I am, and I don't need outer confirmation
of that inner reality.
However, I am asking
you to consider that it might make a difference to you. Not in the sense
that you need me as a messenger, but in the sense that you might need
me as an example. As the masters have said, "What one has done,
all can do." I have always taken that statement seriously, and
I believe the essence of Mother's example is that she did not limit
what the masters could do through her. She did not let the world prevent
her from being who she is and from pursuing her mission and divine plan.
I decided to do the same,
and so can you. This doesn't mean that you need to do exactly what I
am doing. You need to fulfill your divine plan, whatever that might
be. The trick is that until you stop putting fear-based limitations
on what your divine plan might be, you won't be able to see that plan
clearly. You see only what your fears allow you to see, not what God
wants you to see.
The essence of the path is
to become the Christ, and the essence of Christhood is that you become
the open door between Heaven and Earth. Lorraine and I have dared to
claim our Christhood. As a result, we have been called to present ourselves
as messengers and face whatever opposition might come. I can assure
you that you cannot become the Christ until you too are willing to be
the Christ regardless of what the world says about that. You cannot
let any man shut the door in your heart. You cannot let any outside
or inside force, including the church, prevent you from bringing forth
whatever you are called to bring forth from Above. There is no middle
way. You cannot serve two masters; you cannot serve God and the "mammon"
of the human consciousness. There is no way to be the Christ and avoid
persecution from the world because the Christ will never be pleasing
to the human consciousness.
However, when you see that
others have dared to be who they are regardless of the opposition, it
might be easier for you to be who you are. And as more and more people
dare to express their Christhood, it will become still easier for others.
What is your reward? The greatest reward is the inner knowing that you
are right with God and that no outer power can take away your oneness
with God (unless you let it). This is true peace of mind.
Let me assure you that neither I nor Lorraine had any desire to set
ourselves up as messengers. We have no desire to replace Mother, and
we have no ambition to "take over the church" or to have followers.
We desire to have a fellowship with other people who dare to manifest
their Christhood, so that we can all work together on manifesting the
true Church Universal, an inner church that will be triumphant precisely
because it is built on the rock of individual Christhood! If you share
that goal, then let us help each other be who we are and fulfill our
missions. As Saint Germain says, we have yet other worlds to conquer.
In the unconditional love
of Christ,
Kim Michaels
Living in the Now Page Directory
Copyright
© 2007 Shangra-la Mission, Inc
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